~Me~
Known As YaNzZ Has Been Breathing For 22 Yrs
DoN'T cRy cOz It'Z oVeR SmiLe CoZ iT HaPpENeD...
Known As YaNzZ Has Been Breathing For 22 Yrs
DoN'T cRy cOz It'Z oVeR SmiLe CoZ iT HaPpENeD...
~MoRe Me~
E-mail me at cyanzz@yahoo.com.sg
FaVe SiTeZ |LyRicS| |X ClamP| |GuiTar ChorDs| |SaMSuNg rIngTonEz| |NicE reCiPes| |NiCe MiDis|
E-mail me at cyanzz@yahoo.com.sg
FaVe SiTeZ |LyRicS| |X ClamP| |GuiTar ChorDs| |SaMSuNg rIngTonEz| |NicE reCiPes| |NiCe MiDis|
~Wad SaY U~
~mY hiStoRy~
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February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 November 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 July 2009 November 2009 June 2010 May 2011
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
almost 3 mths since my last entry... oh man... felt like a realli long period of time but it's only been 3 mths...july 2009 has marked a big change in my life... i've went through my commencement... got my chance to wear the oversized gown and to walk up to stage for my once in a lifetime moment... it was quite a pleasant experience... to watch all of my fellow coursemates stepping out towards another path of their lives...
and yet right at the next moment... in less than 10 hrs... i've received the grief news of my cousin's critical condition in the ICU. Followed by that, while we all still tried to embrace hope, she left all of us, just like that. I did not even have the chance to speak to her during her last moments. She never woke up... and my very last memory of her was while we gathered for my grandad's funeral...
i remember her crying as she told me my grandfather had passed away... I remember her using my computer to check her workstuff... i remember her spending her birthday staying up to guard the funeral grounds with all of us... i remember her falling asleep on my bed and when she woke up, she laughed and asked y i did not wake her up... i remember her telling everyone about her son... ... those were the last moments i can remember and how could anyone of us expect to lose her so suddenly?
It's funny how people only start to think and remember all the details of our closed ones until we realise we can no longer see them anymore... and that's when we realise how dear that person is to us... how much we know we will miss them when they are no longer around...
It's such a cliche phrase to say that life is fragile... but it realli is...
I saw pain in her family... the moment they lost her... i saw silent grief in her loved one... when he slowly tried to let her go... i saw innocence... in her children when they asked why the doctor did not try to save her... i saw memories in everyone... as we all tried to recall her likes and dislikes... her habits and her laugh...
I once thought i've went through the most painful loss of my life... as I let go of someone dear to me... as i realised that relationships are no longer the same... and that people changed... but i realise... when you lose something which has always been there... something which grew with you... something which you never thought of losing... the feeling is somehow different...
Grief and pain isn't any lesser... but... it somehow gives you courage... to remember... to want to live on and continue thinking of that person... to want to pray for that person... wishing her to be somewhere safe and hopefully guarding us from where she is... we know that she is gone... but when we think of her... there are only good memories... we know that we will miss her dearly... but we are also thankful that we had her with us for as long as we had... and that she's been part of our lives... we know that things will never be the same without her... but we also appreciate all the sparkle and difference she made in our lives...
and deeply we all know... if there is such a thing as next life... we all truly wish for her to be part of our lives again... and yes... to my dearest cousin... our big sister... we'll truly miss you for everything you've done... for everything you've given us...
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