DuN CrY cOz It'Z OvEr SMiLe cOz iT HaPPeNeD...

Saturday, December 31, 2005

been reading through a few blogs... wondering, why is it that there are some families where everyone truly love and care for each other... where they have ups and downs together but still smile happily at the end of the day... lol... and y isit there are some families that can never seem to communicate... where they just end up hating one another...
no longer will u see the days where all children live in fear of their parents... listen to every single thing their parents say and believe that everything adults say is right without even a single doubt... perhaps it was out of respect... perhaps its the way the world worked in the past... but the world is changing... how is it that people can change their lifestyle 'externally' and not 'internally', meaning emotionally wise... or thinking wise...
no longer should ppl use the phrase 'da3 shi4 teng2, ma4 shi4 ai4' as an excuse... u may hit... but hitting without giving good enough reasons... or sitting calmly after that to talk abt what went wrong... will just leave trauma in the kids... they dont understand why they are wrong... not saying anyone is at blame... but u just cant use the same teachings ppl used decades or even centuries ago? kids are just kids arent they? they dunno why they are wrong... scolding... with unconvincing explanations will just end up making the kids feel worthless and stupid and at loss...
times have changed... so why dont ppl change too? u blame the kids for being stubborn... u shake ur head and think they are beyond hope... but what teachings have u inflicted upon them since young? miscommunication? kids are just like a piece of empty paper... waiting for u to fill it up with colours and beautiful words... but u make it black and white... abiding by all the rules, giving them no space for creativity... put it this way, some may say... afterall they are being parents for the first time... yet... arent these kids also being kids for the first time? eventually, every single mark that u have marked onto that clean sheet of paper will affect every single action or trail of thought of ur kid...
not that i feel no love for what i have... i truly appreciate everything they've done... maybe the world will scold me for being selfish... but i just want a chance to fly for once, away from the black and white writings... to fill in some colours and even if there may be stains or so called bad colours... it just add to this thing called life... what life do you want? i just want a life of my own... where i can stand proud and say... i've failed... i've succeeded but i learnt... and not... i listened... i pleased them and i think i made the right choice coz they say so... i just want to do it my own way... lol... and so my new year resolutions? not exactly sure of what new year resolutions are supposed to be like... but i guess... i just want to add more colours and pictures to this piece of paper in the upcoming years of my so called life...

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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

hmm... went dinner with xiuhui, mad and xiaojing at the market near mad's house... lol... long time since i ate these food... char kuey teow, or luak, soya bean milk, fish porridge, fried carrot cake and satay! lol... i dint eat all dun get mistaken... we shared these food...

well... nice dinner and we had a long long chat for 2 hrs plus lol... sat there with the cold wind blowing and tokin abt stuff... lol i rem the last time we sat there, at the same spot was 2 years ago? lol... where we also sat down to tok abt out future... lol... how fast time flies...

and so... ill-tempered me somehow got aggitated over the topic - parents... =.= aye... i just got super irritated whenever i hear parents wanting to control their kids.... well... controlling is fine... but there are some choices that parents just cant make for them rite? =/ anywae... it is true... i realli can make things better... and y shld i torture myself... lol... i am not saying i am always right... but i guess the smart way to things is to get things u want in a way where u dun get hurt... lol... well... i guess its abt following ur heart.... no matter what ppl say... as long as i am realli sure what i want... nobody can stop me rite? lol... its juz a matter of time... aye... times are hard... i just hope one day i will look back and feel glad that i made it tru...

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Sunday, December 25, 2005

lol... i dun understand... some ppl claim that they are adults and they know the best... and that they love u thats y they do the things they do... lol... den when they hurt u truly badly... dey can laff happily and get over it within hours... is that hypocritical or is that realistic? how smart is that... lol.. all crap to me... and y shld i be nice to these kinda ppl... y do i even feel hurt whenever they said i hurt them... lol... its stupid to think that if they know i am sad... they will understand... i'm not going to be a stupid fool to feel hurt coz of them... worse still... get sad over them... i will live even happier without them if they dun want me... i shall not cry for anyone who doesnt deserve it at all... ever..

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Saturday, December 24, 2005

so its xmas eve... lol... so wad are ur xmas wishes? i haf alot... but i'm not greedy... lol...

Dear santa...
i juz want one thing for xmas this year... ;) i know i hafent been realli good this whole year... made many ppl sad or angry... but i also went tru some ups and dwns too... so pls pls pls make this wish come true? and i miss my darlin so so much =[ but in case u haf time to see my other few wishes... lol... here are a few... ^^v

1. wish i can find the cross cross earrings that i lost =[
2. wish my next sem tutor is not a bitch like this sem's
3. wish i can go ktv once more b4 the hols end...
4. wish my troubles can juz end... but i guess thats impossble... so at least wish it can get better...
5. wish to be with my darlinz... =[
6. i want my darlin
7. still my darlinzz...
8. wish i can be the first to wish my darlinz merry xmas...
9. wish every year's xmas i can be with my darlinz...
10. I WANT MY darlinz la!!!

lol... okok dun puke... but its the truth... quite easy to guess my onli wish this year? bwahahha... there are some things that ppl will never understand if they are not in the situation themselves... tsk... i juz hope one day ppl can understand how i feel today... mebe when i look back 3 years dwn the road i may realise that i haf done stupid things... but... if one can think logically... den u are not using ur heart to feel whatever is arnd u... lol... k enuff of crap... i hereby wish EVERYONE A MERRY XMAS!!! and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

so... its aledi the mid of dec and xmas is coming... lol... and a few ppl are back fr overseas! xiuhui... kai... comin back for xmas... lol...

the past week has been real slow... aye... though went out for 2d outing.. been like 4 years since i saw them? lol... and ppl do change... not in the negative way of course but it does feel rather interesting when they tok back abt sec skl days... bitchin abt the tutors... etc etc... lol... and i realised how much i have changed...

other than that... hmmm met up with ichee... lol.. coz our dear grandmama is back... miss xiuhui... and i was late for the outing coz i overslpt... so paiseh... hehe... but anywae went to walk arnd... and i ate my fave sausage at taka... a bit of sushi from cold storage and bot my meiji franc choco biscuit!! my god... love meiji chocolates... lol... and another strawberry kit kat... gonna share it with someone tml hehe... and den... we walked arnd far east... was supposed to shop for earrings but in the end i bot a blouse while xiuhui bot a bag... lol look how far gurls can digress from shopping... anywae i like my blouse... and it comes with a real big necklace... god.. realli huge beads... haha.. dunno if i will wear it...

so thats it... realli nuttin much... and other than eating and sleepin... i juz sit in front of the com everyday and play ms... lol... see how bored i am... haiz...

xmas is coming... i''m not sulkin over it... but i am juz not lookin forward to it at all... sighz... coz i know i wun feel good on that day... notbeing able to be with the person i want to be with... to count dwn to xmas... =[ ok enuff of complaining... hereby i wish everyone merry xmas in advance!!! lol... its a festive season for us all to spend with ppl u love... so if u can spend it with them... cherish the chance k!!! ^^

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

sighz... i totally cant sign in into msn again... damn... its damn irritating... and i seriously dunno if it was my sister or some bad kharma she always bring... i let her use for a while... and poof... msn juz stopped working right after she used it... sighz... this totally suks...

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Tuesday, December 13, 2005

HMmm some updates... anywae i realise nowadays ppl are blogging less and less often... lol y lei i also dunno... muz be holidays all doin something else... hehzz

10 dec
Andy cousin's wedding...

lol... mornin slpt at 630 a.m. dunno y i cant slp... =/ and got woke up by my parents at 730 a.m. den went back to slp at 8 a.m. and got woke up by my sis at 930 a.m. damn... realli damn tired... but dragged myself out of bed anywae... and then... went for the 'serve tea' ceremony... and got a small ang pao from my cousin haha... 6 bucks nia... and had buffet lunch...
and den i set off to the hotel... forgot the name le.. oppz... and angeline cousin, booked a hotel room there... so we went there to shower and change and stuff... (nice bathtub lol) and den waited til 5pm the hairdresser came and guess what she did? ..... =/ she curled my hair... oh god... i look soooooo...... OLD!!! damn... and den did makeup and stuff and off we go to be the receptionists... both me and my sis... lol... quite sad case though... coz the seatings were realli veri messy... my family was kena separated!!! dang!!!

well... dinner was fine... lol and i drank some red wine.... abt 2-3 glasses lol... and i dunno if it was coz of the alcohol or tiredness... i got rather hyper that nite... lol... so i dragged my 2 cousins to go ktv... and we went orchard party world... onli to find it full... den to cine kbox... to find it DAMN SUPER EXX... wth... loansharks man... and so we walked arnd town aimlessly.... well... lol... and i was doin my usual thing... irritating my cousins... LOL.... ok la... in the end... realli dint do anything... and we went home... haiz... so that was abt it for the dinner... but i kinda like it... lol... though rather boring... but at least sumting different...

11th Dec

nothing much... went to teach tuition... played a lil bit of maple... sighz... and miss him... kinda sad... coz he realli gota work on xmas... =[ means cant spend it with him ler... new year also not sure... =[ haiz.....

12 Dec

Hmm... nothing much today... went out to buy an ipod shuffle from my fren, 2nd hand but can use... not bad... lol... still rather good condition la... and we went to play a lil of pool and chilled at mac for a while... and... in the end... no more train home!!! haha so gota send me home.... AHAHAHAH.....

sighz... and when i reached home.... my sister was playin games in my room again... i seriously dunno whats her bloody problem... keep demanding for her rights to use the com... and its not like i dun let her use.... but i need to slp... and wth... she even knocked on my door as earli as 6 a.m. to play her ms... WTH.... and den... obviously i was super pissed when she refused to go out.. and kept saying y cant i use it??? WTH.... its not u cant use it... cant u see that ppl need to slp!!!! and then our arguement woke my dad up and he supported me... and at this exciting pt of time... a wonderful cockroach flew in my room... and i was still damn pissed.... so... i dunno y... i just took a stack of newspapers and hit that damn flyin cockroach like it was the shuttlecock of my badminton racket and piak... it dropped onto the floor... and den i PIAK two more times and it was squashed dead.... ok ahem... someone is gonna scold me again... for doing such gross thing... i was rather amazed too coz usualli i will scream and run when i see cockroaches but i was realli so mad at my sis that when i saw the cockroach..... AHA... u get what i mean rite? was rather amazed at my accuracy btw... LOL... haiz...slpy liaoz... shall go to bed... nite nite!!!

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Saturday, December 03, 2005

ok apologies to anyone who ever still read my blog.. or interested in my life.. lol... been more and more lazy to blog nowadays... nothing much ma... =/ its study... eat... sleep... slack... eat... sleep.. slack... and wait for the days to pass so i can run off to some place i wanna be at again.. blah blah.. i'm sure everyone's bored of me repeating all those stuff... lol...
but ok.. juz to update a lil.. juz came back from pg (again... i'm sure alota ppl will say that lol) WHAT i like la... kenot ah! i'm not rich... but if i cant see him for more than a mth... it juz suks like hell ok... 2 weeks also suk anywae... and so... me and mao took bus to sp together!!! Lol and mav sent me to pg where we all watch harry potter together... oh... cool movie.. i've always liked it even though alota ppl say the book is so much nicer... but i just like the graphics and stuff...
ok some firsts... for the first time, my parents allowed me to go over this time although with MUCH hassle... and basically what i do there lei? Hmm.. watch dvds and dvds and dvds... lol... simple and mebe some will find it boring... but watchin them with ppl u love is dif okay... and i'm contented with what i have... and for the first time! i ate stuffed crust pizza! haha... ok dun laff at me for being mountain turtle... but its ex ma.. =/ also... another first... kinda hang out with my darlin's fren on the last day... first time i hang out with his frens.. and it was funny coz he speaks to me in chinese, speaks to his fren in dialect and his another fren in english... lol... and he blames me for influencing him into multi-languaging... coz he used 3 languages in a sentence... lol eh.... not my fault rite? i like to speak chinese de ma =/ well well anywae... sighz... it suks to leave... and here i am... stoning and missing him... but xmas is coming! i look forward to meeting all my frens!!! and its hols! lets ALL ALL meet up soon!!! ok ok?? but but but kenot go expensive places hor.. i broke hehe... muakz!!!

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