~Me~
Known As YaNzZ Has Been Breathing For 22 Yrs
DoN'T cRy cOz It'Z oVeR SmiLe CoZ iT HaPpENeD...
Known As YaNzZ Has Been Breathing For 22 Yrs
DoN'T cRy cOz It'Z oVeR SmiLe CoZ iT HaPpENeD...
~MoRe Me~
E-mail me at cyanzz@yahoo.com.sg
FaVe SiTeZ |LyRicS| |X ClamP| |GuiTar ChorDs| |SaMSuNg rIngTonEz| |NicE reCiPes| |NiCe MiDis|
E-mail me at cyanzz@yahoo.com.sg
FaVe SiTeZ |LyRicS| |X ClamP| |GuiTar ChorDs| |SaMSuNg rIngTonEz| |NicE reCiPes| |NiCe MiDis|
~Wad SaY U~
~mY hiStoRy~
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Saturday, July 30, 2005
ARGH... dunno what the hell happened to my previous blog gr... part of what i wrote keep disappearin =/ so i juz deleted the whole thing...anywae... a few things i learnt from the past few days...
i realise....
1. not everyone's gonna think like me.... so i gota face it and accept it...
2. sometimes patience is needed for alota things but as long as i believe in what i am doing... everything can be worked out
3. no words is better than hurtful words... lol
4. tears are not meant to be for pity... so... we shld onli shed tears of joy
5. i actualli drop 40-50 strands of hair when i comb after shower!!! omg... WTH... hahaha
so in order to make my life better... i came up with some plans...
1. Make my stand loud and clear... if ppl disagree that's not my problem =p
2. Wait and believe in that one day... they can accept what i have decided...
3. Think carefully before saying the wrong things...
4. No more tears for me =/ *thats quite hard... i still love sad shows wahhaha*
5. Dun comb my hair after shower!!! and mebe i shld buy some hair tonics soon =/
And i predict... if i carry out my plans well...
1. My legs gonna hurt from standing too long
2. Cobwebs are gona grow... ewww i hate spiders though i seldom squash them O.O
3. U will see a yanzz reacting even more slower than the past... may take some time for me to think of what i wanna say...
4. Johnsons & johnsons baby shampoo --- "No more tears!" *ok this dun make sense... hahaha*
5. Yanzz will still complain abt dropping hair... LOL
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Tuesday, July 26, 2005
SaFest PlaCe to hIDe by Bsb...
It seems like yesterday when I said "I do" And after all this time my heart still burns for you
If you don't know by now that you're my only one
Take a look inside me and watch my heartstrings come undone
I know I promised you forever
Is there no stronger word I can use
To reassure you when the storm is raging outside
You're my safest place to hide
Can you see me, here I am
I need you like I needed you then
When I feel like giving up
I promise inside your heart I still find
You're my safest place to hide
You see colors no one else can see
In every breath you hear a symphony
You understand me like nobody can I feel like my soul unfolding like a flower blooming
When this whole world gets too crazy And there's nowhere left to go
I know you give me such a worry
You're the only truth I know
You're the road back home
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Thursday, July 21, 2005
awww.... a realli sad song to me =/ sobzzz but realli nice...~OnE sWeEt DaY~
Sorry i never told you
All i wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'cause you've flown away
So far away
Never had i imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive
Chorus:
And i know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And i know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Eventually we'll sing in heaven
Darling i never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
And i took your presence for granted
But i always cared
And i miss the love we shared
Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord i know when i lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as i pray
Sorry i never told you
All i wanted to say...
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005
lol... sometimes i wonder... am i that scary a person? do some ppl actualli not dare to tell me some truths coz they are afraid i wun understand and get angry? tsk.... i dun blame them... afterall i believe i had my unreasonable times too... but well... in a way... its a good thing also i believe... coz it shows that these ppl actualli care abt how i feel... =] i guess i juz gota learn how to win their trust that i can slowly learn to understand them...well... anywae... haf been watchin several ermm... duno if some ppl will call them depressing movies... but i rather call them inspirational movies... lol... why inspirational? coz they make me think... first... of course is be with u.... and the next is cryin out love in the center of the world...
the latter is abt this gurl who suffered from leukemia... and struggled hard to let go of all the things she had in this world... esp this boy whom she juz started fallin in love with.... i wasnt as touched in this movie coz it is realli a lil too draggy... and there was no climax or anything... in short... rather boring... haha.... but still the main message was brought across to the audience rather well --- life can be so fragile... lol...
plus... due to my work where i slack most of the time doin nothin... i borrowed this book from mao... called "tuesdays with morrie" and it was a reali inspirational book... lol.. tok abt this professor who was dyin and decided to teach ppl abt life.... juz before he departs...
tsk... so what do u guys value in ur life? career? money? love? or someone told me... life... haha... tskk... its a simple word... and yet so profound... many ppl searched all their life and they dunno what they want with themselves... does money realli make one happy? tsk... i dun believe in superficial love... and to me... money is juz one of that... materialistic ppl will never be happy right from the bottom of their hearts... they will always crave for more... even if they already have tons of money.... some parents work all their life... giving their children the best food... the best education... the newest toys... and how many of them ended up with their children leaving them when they realli need their children by them...
of course... when these kids get what they want... they are happy momentarily... but they will never hear their kids saying ok i got enough of toyz... mum/dad i dun anything more... i have enough... coz they will always want more and more... money juz simply cant buy love...
lol.... for me... i value happiness in my life... tsk.... though sometimes i still get easily pissed off... but well... life is also abt learnin rite... i'm still tryin... lol... i hate doing things coz i had to do it... or doing things that make ppl happy but it dun make me happy... lol... unless i realli love the person of course... then, when he is happy... i am happy too... but otherwise.... lol... pls dun force me to do things i dun like... thats y i realli hate fake ppl.... or fake actions... y do sumting when u know its not sumting u want? juz to get into ppl's good books? or juz to get promoted? or coz u are afraid of offending them? i dun mean snappin at ppl u dislike right from the start of course... but at least... dun bootlick... haha...
though so many ppl has been saying this... but we realli onli live once... live for urself... not for ur parents... do things u want to do... not what ur parents want u to do.... work in a place u realli enjoy... and not a place u hate just for the money... coz those money wun buy u happiness... we can make ppl we love happy in so many ways.... not tru money... but tru real care and concern...
this is sumting i realli find more and more singaporeans lack... realli a sad thing... lol... listen to them... try to understand them... communicate... instead of enforcing stupid codes of laws in ur home... to force them to listen to u... there arent many good listeners in this world... most of the ppl juz dun bother to listen... coz they care more abt themselves... so why not start today? spend some time with ur loved ones and listen to them... and i mean full attention... multi taskin has always been rude for me... coz it juz means u dun show respect to one of ur 'tasks' and dun leave any regrets.. lol who knows when u are going to die?
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Monday, July 18, 2005
sighz... i finally watched the movie i longed to watch for so long!!! "be with you" a jap story based on a novel... aw... and as expected... i realli cried... esp at the part when the female lead gota leave... reminded me of so many things... tsk.... lol dun care if i am gona be the spoiler of the movie... not like most of u guys out there are gona watch it anywae... hehe.... so here goes....trailer:
http://www.tbs.co.jp/movie/english/bewithyou/mov/medi.asx
movie started with an 18 year old jap skl boy makin breakfast for his dad... and the doorbell rang as he went to receive his birthday cake...
flashbacks of what happened 12 years ago...
Mio, beloved wife of Takumi left behind her husband and a six year old son, Yuji as she passed away due to sickness... Both Takumi and Yuji missed her dearly... and they waited for the day she would return to them, in the rainy season. She promised to be back in the rainy season as an archive star... So, clingling on to that hope... they waited day by day for the season to arrive...
Finally... the first drop of rain fell and Yuji was searchin for this time capsule that he and his mum buried in this shed in the woods as the miracle finally arrived... Mio sat by the shed... lookin dazed and lost... She had no recollection of her past... no idea that she was married with a 6 year old son... Eager to lead a new life with his loved one that he had lost once... Takumi brought Mio back home and started telling her about their past...
Back to 10 years ago... when both of them were 18, still college students... Takumi was an athelete while Mio was an outstanding student... good in her studies... and both of them sat beside each other in class for 2 years... He fell in love with her but never dared to tell her his feelings... he felt that it was a one sided love.... and until the day of graduation... he thought it would be all over... as they go their separate ways... but Mio appeared in front of him suddenly and passed him her autograph book for signing... " thank you for sitting beside me... i feel very comfortable in your presence" he wrote... and before he could do anything... she grabbed the book back and left in a dash...
lol... and that marked the end of their college life....
a few years later... Takumi heard that Mio was back from Tokyo and he decided to call her... using the pen that she grabbed along with her autograph book as an excuse... (lol... reali cute this part...) He asked for his pen back and she agreed... and so... they met... Of course... Takumi did not care about that pen... all he wanted was to see her again... And mustering all his courage, he asked her out for coffee... and she agreed! He was so nervous, he blabbered on and on... talked non-stop... about everything in the world... afraid that once he stopped... she will lose interest and leave... They took a train home together... and feeling cold... Mio requested to share the pocket of his coat... and she slipped her hand into his pocket... while they started holding hands for the first time in that warm lil pocket of his coat...
and so... their love story began... Mio got to return to school in Tokyo of course... and so they kept in touch using letters... 46 letters in all... until one day... Takumi suffered from this illness... where he would pass out once he overwork his body... He was forced to give up his only forte... running... and had to avoid crowds... Feelin all depressed and dejected... Takumi felt that he was handicapped and not worthy of Mio anymore... and he stopped writing letters... wanting end their relationship...
Mio returned some time later and confronted him... but he asked her to leave and that she should find someone else to give her happiness... Yet deep inside... every single word hurt... He fled before she could say anything else... Of course Mio was dejected and she left in tears...
Yet... Takumi could not forget Mio and he realli wanted to see her... even for just one last time... He forced himself to face the crowds in Toyko and tried to see her from afar.... That day it was raining and he stood outside her school... waiting for her appearance... She did... he was overjoyed... took a few steps forward... and retreated... juz as she saw her with another guy who offered her an umbrella... And he turned around.... ran away in the rain...
He thought that marked the end of their story... but weeks later... he received a phonecall... the first phonecall from Mio.... And they met... in this garden so full of sunflowers... very beautiful scene... She hugged him... and told him everything will be alright.... and they got married soon after...
And lost in Takumi's narration of their past... Mio decided to love him anew... along with that super cute lil son.... tsk... Everything seemed so beautiful... and the family of 3 were drowned in the happiness until one day... Mio found her diary... and found out about the truth...
She knew she had not much time left... and that she would have to leave once the rainy season end... Yet, she tried her best to cherish what they had left... and she taught her son how to make breakfast... etc... so that there will be someone who could look after Takumi when she was gone...
And so the day came... the sun finally emerged from the clouds... but the sun for Takumi and Yuji was about to leave... Takumi ran despite his illness.. collapsed and forced himself up to reach the wooden shed in the woods... where they know Mio will leave... Yuji hugged his mother so tightly... not wanting her to leave... and Takumi reached juz in the nick of time... He blamed himself for not being able to give Mio happiness... but Mio only said that she could not have been happier anywhere else in the world... without him by her.... And so they held hands in the lil pocket of his jacket... and she vanished with the last drop of rain...
So what was it in the diary that revealed the truth? Takumi flipped through the first page... It started tellin of a story of how an 18 year old school girl fell in love with this boy who sat beside her everyday.... She dared not tell him about how she felt but she felt contented and comfortable to have him sitting beside her... On the last day of school... she finally mustered enough courage to approach him... but all she could do was to ask for his autograph in her book... She was so nervous that she grabbed the book and ran away before he could say anything... and she realised that she forgot to return his pen to him... but... she did not turn back to return it to him... She thought that holding on to that pen... she may have the chance to see him once again... even if its juz one more time...
And so the story goes on... they broke up and she was dejected... but she could not do anything about it... Back in tokyo... she missed him dearly and reali wished to see him juz for one last time... until the day in the rain... she thought she saw his back as he ran away in the rain... Without even thinking... she gave chase in the rain... Running and running until she was knocked down by a car...
And the next thing she knew... she awoke in the hospital... she leaped into the future while she was in a coma... And she saw herself falling in love with Takumi... fallin in love with her son... her warm lil family... She knew that she was going to die after getting married to Takumi... and she pondered before deciding that... no matter how short her life would be.... she still wanted to fall in love with him again... And thus... she made the phonecall... and decided to meet him...
tskk.... a rather extraordinary story yeah? but mainly the story juz depicted of the pure love b/w Takumi and Mio.... lol... realli touching... even though they knew their time together may be limited... they still chose to be together for that short period of time... tsk... ok i admit... i did cry in the movie... esp the part when she knew she needed to leave... and the few scenes where u can see the true happiness in the faces of the family of 3... even though they know they will part soon.... awwww....
gonna catch the other movie... cryin out love, in the center of the world.... or sumting lidat... haha... not that i realli love sad stories... but it is rather inspiring de... this kinda shows... haha and i still do love jap shows.... and oh god... did i mention.... y do jap kids look so DAMN CUTE... that cute son of Mio will realli make u go on ur knees... no joke... trust me... hahaha
alright... enough ler... this is a super long post... haha and i am late for work =/ *runz away*
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005
nice song... by a talented local artiste... tsk... i love da lyrics...J O U R N E Y
Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 1999, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)
It's a long, long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long, long journey
and I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you...
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long, long journey
And I need to be close to you...
Sometimes it seems no one understands
I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
'Cause it's a long, long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you...
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Saturday, July 09, 2005
hahaha.... cute song... lol i like to move it move it!!!aw... madagascar aint a realli nice movie but... i miss the company =/
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today... i mean now... i juz feel so happy... =] veri veri happy... juz wanna let u know once again... love u lots jo han... haha yes mdm xiuhui... my beloved's name is jo han... coz everyone's been tellin me i onli mentioned him as capp... lol... =p i hereby declare... my one and onli sweetest boyfren's name'z tan jo han... ppl out there... dun mess with him or u get it from me... haha.... O.o
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Friday, July 08, 2005
woopz... this was on thurs nite... after i went the 'interview' for my new job... mending a chocolate stall... at raffles... so hy and me decided to go for a walk along the singapore river... and i took nice nice pics... though my camera skills suks... =/
merlion~~ =] looks real nice at night eh?
lol... i seriously dunno where all those lights came from =/....
so... we went for our walk... and we tok and walk and tok and walk and sat and walk and tok... til almost 10 pm den we left the place... tsk... real nice... though we both realli wished we cld be with our loved ones at the place walking instead... lol =[ real romantic place la... haha... quiet and nice lightings... but i still like kek lok si better *winks* haha... sighz... we both tok abt so many things... which made me realise... and got a even clearer glimpse of what i realli want in life... i dun care what happens in future... dun care how others will look at me... i juz wanna be happy now... with the person i realli love to be happy as well... =] so... i'll realli give my best... with that i'm sure i wun haf any regrets in life~
dangz!!! mao's bdae today!!! happy bdae maomao!!!! =]
bot her a small lil rose... with a veri cute russ cat =] ohhh its shy... hiding behind the rose *winkz* lol...
three of them... hy, mao and hj... lol
lol this pic looks nicer... at least hy dun look that out of place... though we can all see her tryin hard to tilt her head... to make it look like she is closer to mao... haha
cute lil russ cat and rose =]
pls marry me!!!! >.<
finally 4 of us... though i dunno y the pic is so dark... lol but once again.. we can see hy tilting her head alot... O.O
oh forgot to mention the nice lil cake we got for her... =] with two candles that kenot light up... reminds u of anything mao? lol.... same thing happened to my onli cake this yr too... sigh... i miss pg... the beach... sobz...
so both me and mao gona start work on monday ler... aye... hope we wun be too bored... but at least get to earn alil money =] and its quite a nice job... the chocolates realli look tempting *drools* so ppl u can come visit us anytime 1030 til 800... my shift's from 330 to 800 =] at raffles exchange... veri near raffles mrt.. cya!!!
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at lucky plaza... and us takin da pic while doing manual labour for turtle... help her move goods... tsk... and that stupid lift took hrs to come... so we took the chance to take a pic... miss jo thinks being squeezed in the middle will make her face look slimmer... well... that makes me look FAT!!! gr... but jo... u look chio la dun wry... wahhaha
KTV... what the hell are u acting cute for? ms rhonda.... ur bf is not here... O.o
ok now u look retarded... wahahah... and turtle admits... she is realli natural in front of the camera =]
ok this looks much better... haha... hey jo... how come u keep takin pics of her ah... O.O
i dunno what kinda phototaking skills this is... and yes... it is taken by jo once again... =/
on da streets... me turtle rhonda and piyo...
oh god... not another act cute face... oh no... this time i think turtle was singing some sad songs... so facial expression must suit the atmosphere O.O
on da streets~~ finally the 3 wonderful turtles haf a pic together =] and dun be mistaken miss rhonda is not taller than me and jo... its coz she is wearing a 5 cm tall heels!!!
lol... so that was thurs... finally got to meet ms rhonda after she came back from US for 2 weeks? duhz... and made me wait for 2 hrs??? WTH... late for 2 hrs... and jo late for 1 hr... WTH.... but well... the lunch was an apology i guess... went ANGUS duno what steak house... and WTHHHH i dun eat steak miss rhonda... how many times do i need to remind u.... dangz... but the chicken chop was nice anywae... lol ok la... realli had nice time... long time since we met up like that... miss u too~ =] glad u are happy and attached.. haha... i pity ur bf though... >.<
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xiuhui is back!!! and we are in coffee bean again... eating and sitting and toking and eating... and sitting... and toking... and eating... and............ i need not elaborate huh?
stop it! xiuhui... i know u are trying to do something... and i'm stoppin u from doing it!
in front of the aquarium in wisma... lol... can u spot the shark?
er... y did siyi's head suddenly pop out...
squeeze ur head down!!! wahhaha...
and so... that was wednesday... dearest ichee finally met and we went to usual place... taka... to eat and sit and tok and eat and sit and eat and.... i need not elaborate once again haha...
but it was nice... missed u la xiuhui... mrs great grandmama... though not everyone was there and today we're supposed to be at corinne's house... but onli i cant make it =/ sighz... so sad...
but we'll still haf chance la hor... thankz ichee... for everythin and everythin... cya guys soon!
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Saturday, July 02, 2005
tskk... everyone's been changing their blogskins once in a while... lol and i've been using this for like duno how long =/ ooi not coz i am boring k... coz i spent hours making this blogskin... kinda proud of my own design... hehe... and miss mao can u change ur tagboard... i juz cant post on ur one now la...anywae... hafent been bloggin alot recently... coz nothing to blog... tsk... plus the lazy worm has emerged once again... aye... holidays... 3 mths seem so long and yet 2 mths has aledi passed... tsk... dunno y i am suddenly thinking abt my 21st bdae next year... haha... dun think will want to throw a party... but it is supposed to be da independent age... weee~~ and besides being able to enter casinos... at least i dun haf to let parents sign whatever consent forms... or rather... waste the effort to forge their signature... (which is what most of the time i do haha...)
and u stupid ppl out there stop saying i am old... its called young at heart ok!!! u ppl are juz jealous.... wahahah... =/
lookin back at the past 20 years i have been breathing on earth... i realise... in my life... there has been a few key ppl who realli changed my way of thinking and change my life... da first one... is a pri skl fren who kinda turned me from da quiet shy nerdy mama gurl into a rather noisy gurl... den next... comes in jo and turtle chewz... who further transcended me into the next stage... so here i am... being so crappy and lame... oh nono its not my fault... *points to jo* she she she... the one who read one whole newspaper to me... who passed me some of her wonderful lameness... lol...
and next... here comes mao... and my dear capp... hmm.... well... mao is the one who gave me so many encouragements whenever i haf fights with capp... and taught me the dif ways to look at a relationship... tsk... and of course... capp da most impt person in my life now... haha... hmmm u shld realli get an award for being the onli person who gets to bully me so much =/ it has always been me bullying ppl de wor.... lol... and he is the one dat made me change my point of view of life... never realli knew what i wanted in life... it has always been my parents forcing me to do the things i am doing... but for once... i wanna do something abt my own life... decide something on my own... lol... so i guess that marks another significant change in my life...
of course there are other ppl who have changed me so much... e.g. ichee... i nv been someone who can be so 'aunty' or rather 'gu niang' lol used to be a tomboy de... but being with them... diaozz... u will realli get influenced... >.<
so yanzz has become who she is now thanks to all the above mentioned... haha... and i'm realli happy with my life now... i haf ppl i love and things i wanna do... keeps one going eh? though there may be hard times... but i'll be waiting for the sweet fruits to bear... no harm being more optimistic yeah? lol... thankz all out there =] wish u all da best too! haha...
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