DuN CrY cOz It'Z OvEr SMiLe cOz iT HaPPeNeD...

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

hmm... another earthquake in indo... scary hor... tsk... its quite freaky for me coz ever since the tsunamis crashed into pg (which is so near us)... i had more than one dreams abt being near the coast and finding water rising higher and higher... with the wind blowing damn strongly... it was scary... and i had to keep running to higher lands... where everywhere was flooded... yucks... there better dun b anymore disasters coz its terrible... hm....

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hah! sumting interesting i heard today... someone asked if i am a lesbian... wow... hm... lol its strange... do i look like one? izit that i dun show interests in the guys means i like gals? haha... or izit coz i dun flirt with them.. they think i'm not interested in guys...
i admit i dun act like a gurl... but well.... how does that make me a lesbian? gosh... i almost wanted to laugh my ass off when i heard that qn... but hey! i am straight ok... i juz dun fall for guys easily... but once i fall... i fall deep... aiks... some may call it 'silly'... but i prefer to call it stubborn... lol... what to do... i take after my mum and dad... so i guess i wasnt picked up from the rubbish bin afterall...(well... thats where my mum always tell me i came from)

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Sunday, March 27, 2005

i'm scared... i'm scared of getting stuck at where i always am.. i'm scared of handling stress... i'm scared of failure... i'm scared of handling responsibilities... i'm scared of entering the workforce... i'm scared of not living up to ppl's expectations... i'm scared of disappointing others... i'm scared of disappointing myself... i'm scared of facing everything alone...
alright great... i'm pmsing again... sighz... it'z always like that when end of the semester draws near... life is a never ending torture of ups and downs... sobz... but i just cant think!!! i cant concentrate!! i dunno what to do next... shit all this... gr...

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aiks... was sorta chatting to dear siyi abt our modules to take next sem and miraculously we chatted abt housework... and moving out in future.... lol...
hmm yar i want to move out.. try to live alone for some time at least when i go to work coz i'm realli a burden to my mum... lol... housework... i dun do... instead i make the whole house messy...
i cant cook... expt for microwaving and frying an egg or magi mee is realli my specialty...
i cant mop the floor properly... i dun even noe which detergent is for mopping da floor...
i cant wash clothes... expt for dumping everything into da washing machine...
i cant sweep the floor... the broom will always grow thinner after i finished sweepin...
whenever my mum asks me to clear my table... i'll run out of the house...
i lose my things even in my own house... everything is lying everywhere... hahz!!! so tell me.. how to survive without my mum huh?
i guess thats y i dun dare to stay in a hostel... coz... i'll juz make my room rot...
boohooo.... lol... so if... i said if... i do get married... my husband's gona die of hunger and rot in the house... wahaha... aiks... i guess no guyz will want to marry anyone like me... gona stay as a spinster! boohooo.... =~[

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Saturday, March 26, 2005

hehz.. quite a nice song...

忘不了
作詞:施文斌作曲:施文斌監製:施文斌/楊震

翻開一本舊日記記載著一段舊戀情
每段都那麼的甜蜜往事歷歷在這裡
曾看過多少的風雨曾說過要到哪裡去
曾做過覺得傻的事愛過在這城市里

* 昨晚下了一場雨讓我忽然夢裡見到你
躲在某個地方哭泣好想緊緊抱著你
有一次從朋友口中聽到你消息我的心都在發抖
你是否孤身一人 * ( 我不停追問 )

#分手兩年後我還是想著你
多久沒有見過你現在你住在哪裡
只怕有一天我們都會老去
只想留一點回憶能夠讓我們依靠 #

我在一個咖啡店透過玻璃窗往外望
你的人影無所不在無心無魂的想你

Repeat * #
為什麼人總要等到失去才珍憎
我來不及想告訴你要永遠不分離 Repeat #

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

hmphz.. the past few days a few things happened.. tsk...
my stupid AR1326 proj grp... super damn irritated... i made that model for 2 days and they dun even bother to help.. and yest.. they just tore down the whole model coz they think its not nice and redo it... @#$%#$%... hell... i wish they can just eat shit... grr...
alright... i shld've gotten over it... anywae dear capp fell sick... tsk... almost shocked me to death when i heard he got into da hospital... aikz... i almost wanted to take da bus to pg ler... lol...
phew luckily now u're ok ler... sighz... it suks when i cant b where i want to b... hahz...
anywae... this concert version of gui ji by jay sounds nice.. he's realli a damn talented singer... waiting for better songs to come yet!
aiks... oh i 4got to mention! i went to watch hitch!!! finally!!! with mao... and it was realli cute~ lol... i love the dancing parts... haha... and it was a sweet show... aye... alota veri nice quotes wor... and b4 that we actualli played tennis in skl for a while... wee!!! i think i m alil darker lor.. comeon gimme some credit la~ i did go under the sun for almost 2 hrs!!! wahha...
oh ya! i bought a prepaid phonecard so i can actualli call capp!! lol.. but then i duno if he needs to pay wor... anyone has any idea ppl who receive overseas call... do they actualli need to pay? i think in s'pore we dun need... not sure abt pg ler...
alright end of the sem... super duper lot of work... sighz... i'll get tru this... i can!! i can!!! 2 cheerz for yanz!! ...................SIGHZ>............

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Saturday, March 19, 2005

wow... spent the whole day doing alota workout... lol... mornin played badminton with dear mao n huijuan and weeh! long time since i sweat like this... i love badminton!!! hehe
den rushed to meet my cousin and her family... went suntec to fetch her from work and we had lunch at swensens... weee!! long time since i ate da baked rice! her 2 sons are a real headache when they both 'sing' in a wonderful tune... tsk... but well... at times they are rather cute too...
hehz... den went cycling!!! and i cycled for almost an hour non stop... realli had a workout... haha... wonder if i lost any fats? aiks...
well... actualli these are not the main pt... my main pt is, my cousin has changed so much... she used to b a veri bad tempered gal (though she still is now... haha) who doesnt seem to get along with anyone... and ever since she got married... her life is totally revolved arnd her family, her children... n she bcame so much more cheerful n approachable...
i rem the day she got married...my grandma was still alive... tsk... i miss my grandma... she was a wonderful grandma... who erm... taught me how to gamble... hahaha... no ler i mean, taught me how to play those card games... she is not a lady with virtues... she smokes... bring mi to her fren's house after my skl (when i was abt 3 yrs old) to gamble and tsk... but she realli dotes us... and she left so suddenly, just a few mths after my cousin got married... i guess she was realli waiting to see her granddaughter get married b4 she can u noe, leave in peace or sumting lidat... i guess all her smokin somehow clogged her heart n she just died in her sleep... so smokers! pls try to quit smokin coz it realli does harm ur health!
rem she used to specially carry a chair for my cousin's husband (her bf at that time still) and serve him drinks etc whenever he visits her with my cousin... hahaha cute la... blur blur one also... always ask me how to say 'toh teng' (table) in english... ask ler, the next day ask the same qn again... >.<"
bahz... y m i tokin abt my grandma... lol... so anywae, yar ppl change... so weird hor... and she seems so much happier now than the past... always laffing n smiling whenever she sees her children laff... it is realli true nobody can understand how a mother feels until u bcome one ler... but u can tell that it does make her glow and look beautiful... hahahha... eeekz!! i sound so old now... harloe dun b mistaken... i'm just happy for her... we are almost 11 yrs of age gap but she is like a sister to me... n i'm realli glad she has a good family... not like my grandma... nv had good life... aiks... pssttt... i dun like my grandpa... bad bad evil... =p if i were ever to get married... i'll definitely not marry a person who doesnt love me even if i love him very much... coz it wun end u goot... hhaha... oopz... tok too much ler...
i need to stop sounding like an old grandma... even though i dun haf my 'teen' anymore but i'm not gona turn into an old obasan!!! that is just sick sick sick!!! TET~!!!

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Thursday, March 17, 2005

hehez... since mao say my blog is rottin... i shall post sumting...
was watching this channel 8 show, "1/2 love" or sumting lidat... abt 3 sisters... and their love life... veri typical hor... in the end all sure happy ending... hehz 4 those who nv watch...i shall give a summary of the story... though i onli watched one episode, which is today's episode... haha

eldest sis: career woman who just got promoted and dint want any child... in the end found out she got probs having children--- life realli aint predictable eh... whenever u realli wana plan sumting... there are always things u cant plan ahead...

2nd sis: no looks but kind hearted... like this guy and did so many things for him but he still mind her looks n how ppl see him even though he kinda like her too... in the end she left and went abroad and he got sad...tsk--- which is more impt... looks? or the heart... humans are always blinded by the looks and they dun realise it til they lose what they got... and for some guys... even if they like a gal... if she realli has no looks... they will always hesistate coz they mind how others see him... sigh... sadz... u can always see pretty gals being together with not so good lookin guys... but its seldom u see handsome guy being together with rather not pretty gals... agree? heh... or mebe i'm being abit biased here... well...

youngest sis: sweet n pretty but nv got serious in any relationship and is veri spoiled... in the end met a guy who is capable and all that but he still cant get over his ex gf who he loved veri much... she died of leukemia...so youngest sis broke up with him coz she expects a perfect relationship n cannot bear to 'share' her bf... --- nothing is perfect... n yet some of us cannot accept anything that is flawed... when we give sumting, we tend to expect sumting as substantial in return, if not sumting even more than what we gave... rarely do we see ppl giving up things for nothing in return at all... gals seldom can bear to be with a guy who keeps thinking of another gal... well... and the past is the past... it is true memories are precious... but if u noe some things are impossible... y dun u move on and cherish what u have now... aint the present more impt? thats y its called 'present' , a gift... it is true it is unfair for the gal... if he still cant get over her ex... it is onli fair to let the gal go...

hee...for me? which catagory to i belong to? hmm... all 3 i guess... lol... i like to plan things ahead... and i truly detest things that dun go in my way... and it is realli true... there are alota things in this world that we cant predict... when they wana appear, they just appear...
i used to b this quiet, nerdy, ugly gal who always stick in one corner of the classroom... and dun tok much... none of the guys i had crushes on knew anything abt me... n of course... who will like a gal who is so boring and ugly... that explains y i dun get attached...hee...
and like the youngest sis... i cannot share my bf with another gal... if he cant get over his ex... i rather he let me go... in a way i guess all gals expect perfect relationships...
but well... in real life... things always differ... esp if one realli falls in love... he/she can realli change... i used to think i'm sumone who can nv settle down or get tied down by anyone or anything... but well... he appeared and everything i used to be changed as well... i want to settle down... i want to share everything in my life with him... and even though these may seem like things that are still far fetched... i still want to believe we can overcome the distance n barriers... =p haha... believe in da power of love! it is a terribly scary n addictive thing but it definitely gives ppl strength to do things they dint use to b able too... wahaha...
wow this is a damn super long blog... missin capp as usual~ waiting 4 the day my dreams can come true! hehz =p

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Saturday, March 12, 2005

hehz... i think this song is nice~ though it sounds sad and i dun realli understand the lyrics... well... alright i admit i m a sadist!! hah!! we are all sadist somehow, its human nature isnt it? lol... well... y isit that sad songs appeal to us more? doesnt that show that we are vunerable to sad things? lol... alright but it is not always true... there are some ppl in this world who can make everything around them seem so perfect... dun get angry no matter how... does one call this 'enlightenment'? is that real happiness?
well... to me, that is rather bullshit... haha... humans are no matter what still humans... if i am born in this world with no range of emotions, where i onli see good in everything, i'll rather die... u'll nv noe what true happiness will feel like... we all need a contrast in everything... if u onli haf happiness throughout ur life... u'll nv noe what is suffering, what is bitterness... and all these are things that make u cherish life, cherish ur happiness more... just like how a good song sounds better beside a terribly lousy song... =] hmm yeahz~ i guess some ppl who disagree with me are holding eggs in ur hands... but well... this is my blog i'm gona write what i think!!! whahaha...
well... at least i cant b nice to everyone in da whole world... show love to everyone... i'll rather save all these for the ppl i realli love... yepz.. i'm selfish... hoho... but i dun think that is anything sinful... i like to do things in my way... y must i learn to act nice to ppl? coz forgiving is a virtue? i dun need any virtues... if ppl dun care abt me... y must i care abt them? if u dun want ppl to treat u the way u dun want them to... then dun do the same thing to them... =]
haha... ok i'm evil... so my dear frens out there.... dun try to irritate me hor... i'm veri vengeful de... hohoho.... =p

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hehz... went to this artist place... where that guy needed someone to sing so that he cld paint at hardrock... dint noe any single detail abt this and so i went coz i thought it was for charity and helping jo as well... denz... so... i realised its a song meant for guys with powerful voices! hehz!!! and i just cant do it... not my type of songs... so we gave up... aw sadz... hehe

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Friday, March 11, 2005

hahz~ i'm sick of all those disney songs... back to my chinese pop! love this song too~ F.I.R~! =]
yest went for huijuan band concert... alright it was ermm.... interesting but lol... i still cant realli appreciate... so reached home at arnd 11+... where jam came online and we had a terrible 'i pissed at u, u pissed at me, lets piss each other off' session =p aha... and in the midst of it, dear turtle in US called!!! wow~ missed u alot... when are u cuming back for a break? sighz.. and so we asked each other how we are... and weird her as usual, asked mi this weird qn... " is ur sister attached??" HUH!??? why the hell she ask abt my sister??? duhz... do u haf to beat about the 'forest'? haha... n then she asked abt me.... hmmm so dear jam, if u are readin this, how shld i intro u to my frens lei? wad shld i call you n wad do u call me in front of ur frens lei? haha... i'm not ur wife yet! where is da 15 karat diamond ring and my bunch of flowers!!??? must kneel down and put a rose in b/w ur teeth, dance para para and play the guitar!!! wahahahaaa =Z cant imagine if anyone in this world can do that... lol
well... so yest nite's chat ended with a 'i'm sry its not ur fault... no its my fault... nono its not ur fault... nono it is my fault..." tsk... we wasted 1 hr getttin pissed at each other!! =[ =[ at least i hope we are both not mad at each other anymore... sighz... i must realli learn to control my temper and stop being so stubborn... i'm sry jam... =[
goodness shit... my mum just put this ugly bedsheet on my bed again arhh... =[

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

one of my fave songs!!! casper!!!! =]

*i Noe u CanT stAy
A pARt of U wiLL Nv EVeR gO aWAY
uR heARt wiLl StaY

i'll MakE a WisH 4 u
n HoPe iT wiLl ComE TruE
Dat LiFe wLd JuzZ b KinD to SucH a GentLe MinD
iF u LosE uR WaY
ThiNk bAck oN yeSTerDay
RemEmBer Me ThiS wAY...*

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Monday, March 07, 2005

omg!!! a stupid cockroach ran into my room and freaked me out... guess what i did? no! i dint squash it... i chased it out of my room and locked myself in my room, put books under the gap between the door and the floor so it cant crawl in!!! ahahah....

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Saturday, March 05, 2005

woo~ anastacia... anyone watched it? i dint... lol but i like the song though heard it so many times that i'm quite sick of it... sang it for talentime during first 3 mths in vj... well... dint realli turn out wonderful... but it was interesting... haha... participated in another duet too and we 2 gals sang
掌心 by 无印良品... turned out to b a disaster coz the key was too low for us and the mike dint work!!! haha... =p

anywae, highlight of today... i went to east coast to do site visit and the stupid weather is still so damn hot... but ew.... i miss the beach in pg... tsk tsk... hehe of course my commentator plays a part... but the beach there is real dif from east coast... it has much softer and nicer sand, with lesser garbage all around the water =] ew... sobzz... miss the days...
hoho...presently in a mass search of disney songs... shall b playing them over the next few days... so dear audience pls tune in at the same time same channel tml for the next song~! hehz =]

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Friday, March 04, 2005

hah... dun ask me y i put a malay song... its juzz simply coz i like it haha...
rather beautiful lyrics...

Belaian Jiwa (Caress my soul)

its beautiful,
but u r no longer the way i remember you
pity that u went away
let me wait for u till the end of my world

you know how much i love you
only a angel can replace
only destiny can tell
caress my soul

oh wind,
send her my song which is fill with heartache and sadness
let my song accompany you
For the rest of your life

oh darling
come back to me
i miss your touch
i wish for us to be together
forever...

---translated by jammie da hammie!!! sweet~ hehz =]

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Thursday, March 03, 2005

weet~~ woot~~ so long since i blogged eh? lol... coz basically nothing much to update expt that i realli miss pg and ahem... jammie da hammie... lol... sighz.. =[
well... todayz went to long beach at IMM for dinner... coz my grandad strike 4D hahaha... well... ok la i dun realli like seafood and i realise.... i realli duno how to eat things with shells... or bones... am i spoilt? or too lazy... lol... but i hate bones... eekz... if i see bloody meat... i sure no appetite... i haf phobia over blood and bones... yucks... how can anyone crunch bones or shells with ur teeth?? it feels so.... WEIRD...
lol... i'm such a picky eater... terrible... remember when i was young... i used to puke my food out after eating... duno if its due to my mum's weird cooking with either too much oil or too much black sauce... hoho... and i looked like a pile of bones with a big head... well... i still have a big head now... eekz... =p
alright... y are kids nowadays getting spoiled so much... well i wun deny i am spoilt 2... tsk... we depend on our parents so much... no money... whine in front of them... and u get it... mum cooks terrible food... u throw it into the bin and rather go out to da pao other food... yeahz... i used to be lidat... hahz! dun gimme that disapproving look... =p at least now i dun ask them for unnecessary money and i try to eat whatever my mum cooks... but trust me... u wun realli love the food she cooks heez...
is that a sign of growin up? lol... i dunno... half of me is still in my teenage... i noe i just turned 20 but well... its hard to change with a snap of ur fingers rite? i've always depended on ppl... my frens, my family... in skl, i skip lessons... and i noe i can ask for help from my frens... at home, i wait for my mum to scream at me b4 i start to tidy up my room or she will juzz get fed up and do it for me instead... aiks... so terrible... so heyz frens out there!! stop helping me and let me be more independent!!! =[
yeahz... its a long journey like jammie has said... long long way to go... duno what da future's gona be like... guess i onli want to make those whom i care and care for me to be happy... well.. at least i am still tryin... so mum... sry if i just screamed at u again... tsk... i'm realli tryin ler! and dear jammie, i agree its a bumpy road...we are on the same boat!! but we are gona try our best rite?! lets juzz do it!! *nike* ohhoo... do i sound a lil wiser today? no dun b mistaken i dint find any white hair on me... choy~!! hafent found any on my head b4 dun anyone dare to curse me... ahaha... alright... enuff of crap~ ciaoz~!

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Tuesday, March 01, 2005

hmmm.... love this song~ nice ~~ =]

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